Gail C. Feldman, PhD
Vantage Point (2011)
ISBN 9781936467037
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (10/11)
Until recently, I’ve always associated midlife crises with people, especially men, engaging in outrageous acts that usually involve betraying their families. Now that I am actually at my midlife point, I’ve come to the realization that there is a lot more involved with this time in our lives. I do admit to fantasizing about getting a fast car and some surgical enhancements, but I have come to discover that this is a time where it is more critical for me to focus on my mental and physical health.
Reading “Midlife Crash Course” was an eye opener. Clinical psychologist Dr. Gail C. Feldman shares her own personal journey with us and shows us how we can turn the crisis situations that we encounter into opportunities to come into our own creative power. By sharing her rather painful journey with us, I found that I was able to better relate to the techniques that she discovered personally worked for her. As a person who works in the counseling field, I appreciated that in addition to sharing her personal story, she also provides spiritual and professional tools that one can use for themselves or recommend to others who find themselves crashing through midlife.
In Dr. Feldman’s story, she has to overcome a painful divorce after a long marriage, a painful breakup and two painful, disabling health crises. For myself, I overcame an incredibly painful divorce after fifteen years of marriage, and a painful breakup from a relationship with an alcoholic, who originally made me feel like I had to go through the pain of the divorce to meet him. Boy was I wrong. And then of course, I also had a midlife crash which resulted in my Honda Accord being turned into an Accordion by a 1986 Buick. The resulting trauma from the pain of that accident took me into quite a depression. I went from being a second degree black belt in karate to someone who had to use handicap parking and a cane.
As with Dr. Feldman, the lows involved having to deal with pain and depression. We actually shared some of the same physical injuries. I also discovered that I had accelerated arthritis. But the highs involved people coming into my life and being there for me. Some of these people were the disabled students that I work with. Being there for me was also empowering for them, because they were able to both physically help me out, and mentally share what they have learned from their experiences.
Dr. Feldman’s journey also took her into spiritual healing and alternative medicine. I have dabbled with some of this, but now feel that she has motivated me to continue to press forward on this path. Both during and after she shares her story, she offers a great deal of helpful information for those of us who find ourselves crashing instead of cruising through our midlives. Through Facebook, I have discovered that many of my friends that I went to high school are also dealing chronic pain issues. This was not something that we anticipated this early in our lives. Knowing that I am not alone in my experiences tells me that “Midlife Crash Course” is a must read for all women who are approaching or already in their midlife years. All readers will find this book incredibly inspiring.
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