Betrayal-Proof Your Relationship: What Couples Need to Know & Do (eBook)
Loving Healing Press (2011)
ASIN B005LSS50I and ISBN 9781615991228
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (9/11)
“…and they got married and lived happily ever after.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if relationships were that easy? With the current divorce rate being so high, it seems like many couples rapidly lose this fantasy ideal and ending up wondering how things got to where they did as their relationships deteriorate. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Holli Kenley has written “Betrayal-Proof Your Relationship” as a tool for couples to use to help maintain healthy relationships which will in turn help them avoid having to deal with betrayal.
Having previously read Kenley’s “Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within,” I was so pleased to have the opportunity to read this book because I knew that it would help me keep my current relationship on track. In her former book, I gained a deeper understanding of how I was affected by having been betrayed in a relationship, and I utilized the steps that she laid out so that I could heal and move on to a healthy relationship.
Concisely written in thirty pages, the author addresses three critical areas where breakdowns can occur in a relationship. These are communication, anger and role issues. Once communication is interrupted, the breakdown begins. Noting that men and women have different styles of communicating that do not always mesh, Kenley discusses how each person can contribute so that they can develop a neutral way of communicating. While this section was not written to be funny, I couldn’t help laughing because she totally summed exactly how my boyfriend and I communicate with each other. Looking at my communication style from his point of view, I could see how there are times when he gets frustrated with me! It also gave me greater insight into his style, and how I can improve upon both our communication skills. One thing that many men do, including the one in my life, is give short, non-informative answers when asked how their day went. The author suggests asking the man to rate his day on a scale of 1-10. This is perfect because woman can actually get an informative response that doesn’t require more than two syllables on the man’s part!
Another critical area covered is anger. Not just your partner’s anger issues but your own. Interventions are offered on how to overcome this. Role issues are another area that is addressed. I found this section very interesting. It definitely will apply to all couples including heterosexual and homosexual. I appreciated that in all three critical areas that are covered, I didn’t feel that anything was written in a way that will put one side on the defensive or make them feel threatened.
“Betrayal-Proof Your Relationship” should be read by all couples, even new ones. The sooner a couple can utilize the valuable information in this book, the less likely they will ever have to worry about being betrayed. Following the simple steps presented so that you have a better understanding of your relationship and that you focus on keeping the lines of communication open will help you have a much more secure relationship and, in turn, a much happier life.