She Writes Press (2018)
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (5/18)
In “Saving Bobby,” North Carolina author Renee Hodges has written an excellent telling account of how she and her husband Will took in their 29-year-old nephew after he became addicted to pain medication and then continued his addiction with heroin.
“Saving Bobby” is a memoir and testament to those who will go to any lengths to help a family member recover and begin life anew. Being a recovering alcoholic myself I will say it is all trial and error when trying to help one make changes and the battle is long, hard, and often full of pain. Renee’s brother John and his wife felt “tough love” was the way to go with their son and all but disowned Bobby. So until Bobby got his act together, his family chose to abandon him.
What impressed me the most about Renee and her husband is that in spite of every set-back they refused to give up. One has to remember that so often we hear the addict say, “I will stop,” and never does. I also like the fact that the author kept in contact with her own psychologist and often wrote emails to herself about the inner turmoil she and her husband were going through and the toll it took on their marriage. Having a father, and two brothers who were alcoholic I could relate to her thoughts about her own family history with alcohol and the impact it had on everyone.
Often we think that love and support are enough to get one through the rough times, yet we know setting boundaries are important and I felt Hodges did a great job of talking about those issues.
Hodges makes excellent points about leaving the comfort of rehabilitation centers and half-way houses where addicts are placed in the throes of old haunts and friends.
This is an excellent journey that all families of addicts should read as the author provides a wealth of statistics and resources for families. Thankfully Bobby did turn his life around, but it is not a quick turnaround. I appreciate the honesty, anger and passion contained in this book.
I highly recommend “Saving Bobby” by Renee Hodges to all professionals and families; it will give more insight into the real world of addiction and recovery.