Joseph Allen Press (2018)
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (7/18)
In “When Their World Stops: The Essential Guide to TRULY Helping Anyone in Grief,” author Anne-Marie Lockmyer has provided an excellent, concise, compassionate guide for helping someone through their time of loss.
The author shares her loss and the experiences she had with family and friends, and from this perspective provides excellent ideas on what to do rather than just saying, “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” Many times, we aren’t sure what to say to our family or friends and therefore say things that might not be appropriate. I found several ideas I wouldn’t have thought of like getting a pet, scheduling companionship, or helping with paperwork. From my own experiences with loss, I have found that often people bring tons of food and yet neither I nor my family had little or no appetite.
The information on how to help with chaos after we lose someone, such as keep bathrooms clean and stocked with supplies, go through the mail, make a list of items needed (and get them), watch children. I would have never thought of videotaping the funeral or memorial service but have made photo albums.
“When Their World Stops” is short and easy to read and follow. I loved how Lockmyer addresses various types of loss such as babies, children, substance abuse and even murder. She also provides information on how to help not only right after the loss but months later. From my experience as a Psychologist I have found people are there for about a month then tend to disappear.
Lockmyer sets up her book having items in bold type as well as writing in italics when she shares her personal experiences. She also has pages where she charts Instead of Saying, Try This. I often find that many of us say things like “I know how you feel,” or “this too shall pass.” Trust me this is not something a grieving person wants to hear.
“When Their World Stops: The Essential Guide to TRULY Helping Anyone in Grief,” by Anne-Marie Lockmyer is a book everyone should have on their bookshelf for current or future reference. The author is Certified Grief and Loss Specialist in addition to having lost her husband to a brain aneurysm. I highly recommend this helpful guide to all.