Faith G. Harper
Microcosm Publishing (2018)
Reviewed by Valicia France for Reader Views (4/19)
“Unf#ck Your Adulting” by Faith G. Harper is literally a breath of fresh air for adults of all ages. Dr. Harper’s goal is to teach you the core principles of being a well-adjusted adult. The best part is that each tip is practically a mini counseling session. But don’t underestimate each ‘session’—although they are bite-sized, they sure do pack a punch.
There are over 30 tips on ‘adulting.’ These tips cover topics ranging from self-care and personal relationships to activism and professional ambitions. Rather than focusing on traditional adulting concepts such as paying bills and scheduling maintenance, Dr. Harper focuses on the social and emotional aspects of adulting. It is that focus that makes this book very appealing as these aspects are often taken for granted and learning them through trials and tribulation often treated as simply a rite of passage.
Every tip that Dr. Harper provides is a lesson that has been hard won by me at some stage in my adult life. And when I mean, hard won, place emphasis on the “hard”. For example, I learned the “Give Yourself Permission” tip after being a literal bucket of anxiety for a few years about an important educational milestone. I learned how to “Invest in Small Comforts” without guilt only within the last two years (I’m in my 30s!). I even gained a whole new perspective on “Being Open to Repairing Relationships…”; this is a difficult topic for me but reading Dr. Harper’s perspective has me reconsidering my typical death-to-deserters approach.
I am giving this book a 5-star rating for its witty yet profound writing on heavy topics; an accurate and almost complete capture of core soft skills essential to being a healthy, happy, and balanced adult; and its appropriate and realistic use of curse words. You may laugh at the last choice but how often have we read books littered with awkward and unauthentic uses of expletives. Dr. Harper’s use here completely emulates how you may swear when having a deep private conversation with very close friends, or in your secret thoughts about a very emotional topic. In fact, reading this book really does feels like sharing real, uncensored thoughts with a good friend.
I highly recommend this book and do think it will be enjoyed by young and mature adults alike; but this is the type of book that I would have truly appreciated coming into adulthood, prior to learning those hard lessons. I will be keeping this as a one-stop quick guide when faced with less than great situations. Also, this book will especially appeal to those who enjoy witty writing to lighten deep topics. However, I would not recommend it for individuals who are averse to any type of cursing. Overall, I highly recommend “Unf#ck Your Adulting” by Faith G. Harper as a reflective yet enjoyable read.