“UnF#ck Your Intimacy” by Faith G. Harper, PhD

Faith G. Harper, PhD
Microcosm Publishing (2019)
ISBN 9781621067627
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (10/19)

In “UnF#ck Your Intimacy,” Dr. Faith Harper has created a great resource for people who want to improve intimacy in their relationships. Recognizing that trauma tends to show up in intimate relationships, she applies her knowledge and experience as a trauma therapist and a sexologist to teach her readers how to work on this critical area of their lives. Intimacy involves more than just sex, although sex tends to play a huge role in our relationships. Intimacy is also about how we connect with ourselves and others.  This book is broken down into three parts: 1. How Our Intimacy Gets Fucked, 2. Unfuck Your Relationship with Yourself, 3. Unfuck Your Relationship with Others. Each section is full of valuable advice, information, and exercises to help you improve the areas that need it. While “Unf#ck Your Intimacy,” is sure to help people who are in relationships, it is also written for people who are not. Dr. Faith guides readers to learn how to work on healing themselves, so that they will be able to engage in healthy, intimate relationships with others, if that is what they want.

Exercises are given that will help you to learn how to be more compassionate with yourself and be able to set healthy boundaries with others. She discusses health issues that can affect sexual relations. This is critical, especially because changes happen as we age. Readers will be able to gain a better understanding about what is happening and perhaps not take things so personally. She also offers guidelines on how we can talk to our doctors about these issues.

This book is written to include people from all backgrounds. In addition to helping us improve our lives, she educates us.  Readers can read, each page, from beginning to end, or just seek out the information that applies directly to them. For me, I read everything. In addition to appreciating new information about helping improve my heterosexual relationship, I also wanted to learn more about other groups. This includes people who might be classified as homosexual, polysexual, asexual, bisexual, queer, trans, sapiosexual, humasexual, intellectasexual, and the list goes on. Having never heard of some of these, I am now more educated. I also learned more about some activities that people might engage in, such as Kinks, Fets, and BDSM. I found it all to be fascinating!

“Unf#ck Your Intimacy,” by Faith G. Harper is a must read for readers who want to lead better lives. Dr. Harper tells it like it is.  Personally, I appreciate her bluntness.

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