“Ask More Tell Less” by Greg Warburton

ASK MORE TELL LESS

Greg Warburton, MS, LPC
Outskirts Press (2016)
ISBN 9781478708810
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (7/17)

“Ask More Tell Less” by Greg Warburton is an excellent book that provides detailed guidance on how to establish a more positive parenting style. Many of us as parents have yelled, screamed, lectured and threatened till we are blue in the face to no avail.

The author provides numerous examples of what works and what doesn’t work through case studies, thought provoking questions, and ideas on how we need to let go of control and give children more opportunities to develop self-awareness and positive choices. He relates that we often spend large amounts of time telling children how they think, feel, and should act. When in reality we don’t know what they are thinking or what leads up to the behaviors. Parents don’t often ask the child what he/she believes. This type of parenting style dead-ends communication and cooperation. Often parents focus on problem behavior and don’t acknowledge any positives. We “expect” appropriate behaviors.

We often ask “Why can’t I get my child to behave?” The author relates “Not only is it not your job to make them behave, you can’t make them behave.” Yelling, telling, reminding, and nagging, teaches a child not to think, talk, listen, or decide for themselves. They learn to let others handle life for them and blame others when things don’t work out.

I loved that the author did not chastise, blame or negate parents (readers). He encourages and provides numerous ways to change how we react and parent children. Children want the opportunity to explore, talk about and try out (within safe boundaries) running their lives moment-by-moment and day-to-day.

He addresses qualities of a self-reliant parent and provides excellent thought provoking questions.

Many parents will say, “I know my child(ren) so well I always know what they are thinking and will do.”But do you really? Have you asked them? This new approach to help avoid arguments saves time and takes pressure off the parent. It also helps children to learn to let go of negative, frozen – identity beliefs, i.e., stupid, bad, or incapable.

The author writes with passion and a knowledgeable style. It is like he is having a conversation with you and elicits your response. It was interesting to read his ideas on the different parenting styles that have always been drummed into our heads. There is no one parenting style that works, we have to use a combination depending on the situation. The chapters on Time-Out and Rejection were extremely interesting and important.

“Ask More Tell Less” by Greg Warburton is easy to read and follow the suggestions. Readers will feel motivated throughout the book.

“No Reply” by Pamela Sampson

NO REPLY: A JEWISH CHILD ABOARD THE MS ST. LOUIS AND THE ORDEAL THAT FOLLOWED

Pamela Sampson
Pamela Sampson (2017)
ISBN 9780692812693
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (7/17)

“No Reply” by Pamela Sampson is the emotional and historical memoir of Henry Gallant and his family’s survival of the Holocaust aboard the MS St. Louis in 1939. There have been many books written on the persecution of the Jewish people during Hitler’s terror. However, very few have been written about the impact on children and the refusal of many countries to provide a safe refuge.

Sampson met Henry in 2014 at the 75th Anniversary of the MS St. Louis. Given that many refuse to accept the torture, and death of so many individuals, Sampson felt this story needed to be told.  Many who have read or studied facts about the Holocaust still refuse to accept the facts, and there are continued debates over it today. Henry shares memories of his experience through the eyes of a 10-year-old to Pamela Sampson. Sampson writes a very emotional story about Gallant’s survival and historical facts about the Holocaust. I have read many facts on concentration camps, Hitler’s medical experiments on the Jewish people, but very few books address the impact on children and survival.

“No Reply” is a heartbreaking journey of 900 German-Jews on the MS St Louis, hoping to enter Cuba so they could eventually apply for immigration into the United States. Little did these individuals know that after paying exorbitant fees to the Nazis and anti-Semitic countries, their visas were not valid. Having no choice, the Captain of the ship sailed toward Florida hoping they would be allowed to enter.

I was very stunned to learn that FDR refused to deny entry into the United States. Avoiding all pleas and safety concerns for passengers, the White House stated visas must be valid, and all passengers would have to get in line for acceptance and admittance, just like all others wanting entry into the country. Having lived in Germany, we visited the Holocaust Museum and concentration camps, and it breaks my heart that people are so hated by others. If we ask or talk to some of our German friends, they say, “It never happened.”

“No Reply” by Pamela Sampson is an excellent 95-page history that is very informative, a tribute to all who survived or lost loved ones during WWII. Regardless of denial about these events, a fact is fact.

Reader Views Announces 10th Annual Literary Awards Call for Entries

Now in its’ 10^th year, the Reader Views Literary Awards help level the playing field for self-published authors, allowing readers to recognize many of the most creative and exciting books outside the mainstream industry.

 Each year Reader Views, a book review and author publicity service, hosts its annual literary awards contest. The awards are open to all indie authors, regardless of residency, provided the author’s book was published in the English language and targeted toward the North American reading audience.  Books published by major publishers, their subsidiaries, or imprints are not eligible.  Entry information, registration forms and further details

can be found online at http://readerviews.com/literaryawards/.

Categories include children’s fiction and non-fiction by age groups; numerous adult fiction categories include fantasy, historical fiction, poetry, romance, science fiction, mystery/thriller, short story collections and more; non-fiction categories include art, memoir, biography, business, health, self-help, spirituality, travel and writing/publishing. There are also several special sponsored awards included. Prizes range from $100 in cash to press releases, advertising, interviews and other special author services. The book’s copyright date must be for the same year as the awards. Books may be entered in multiple categories. Early bird registration at a discounted entry fee is available through October 31, 2017. Final entry deadline is December 31, 2017.

The judges consist of the Reader Views staff of reviewers. Reviewers are avid readers and experts in their fields, and are representative of an author’s target reading audience. Judging criteria is content/originality, presentation/design, innovation, social relevance, production quality, enjoyment/impact, plot/story line, and resourcefulness. All authors who enter the contest have their books read and scored, and the books are guaranteed a review, which will be published on the Reader Views website. Winners and Finalists will be selected in each category in the Spring of 2018.

“Reader Views reviews more than 2,000 books per year from budding authors who have worked hard to achieve their dream of being published,” says Susan Violante, Managing Editor of Reader Views. “Our Annual Literary Awards recognize the very best of these up-and-coming authors, all talented writers who we know have very promising writing careers ahead of them.”

About Reader Views

Since its inception, Reader Views has reviewed thousands of books and provided a multitude of publicity services including press releases, live interviews, book videos, and formatting of books and eBooks. Reader Views has helped open the door to a broader audience for self-published and small press authors. For more information about Reader Views and its services visit www.Readerviews.com.

“The Wrong Road Home” by Ian A. O’Connor

THE WRONG ROAD HOME

Ian A. O’Connor
Pegasus Publishing & Entertainment Group (2016)
ISBN 9780692569658
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (8/17)

“The Wrong Road Home” by Ian A. O’Connor is an amazing story of a young man who wanted to be a doctor, and through his journey he found he couldn’t do it the legal way. This is based on the true story of Dr. Desmond Donahue.

Growing up, Dr. Donahue lived in a poor family and they often barely survived. He chose to never be poor again, and would always help his family regardless of what he had to do.

The story is well written and readers will find that regardless of what he had to do, no one could fault him. Surprisingly enough the author knew him and recounts his story.

Dr. Donahue leaves Ireland to go to America–Chicago, where he observes several doctors’ in their jobs at Cook County General Hospital. He returns to Cork to complete his studies in medicine where he finds he has to work harder than others and he finally chooses to take some shortcuts.  His friend Dr. Connolly has him believe that the documents to show his medical credentials are the only way to go, however they are false.

The author takes true life events and mixes it in with fiction to develop his story. Desmond is a wonderful person, dedicated, aggressive, and only wants to help others. This makes the readers feel sorry for him and root for him as he honestly tries to become a legal doctor. Desmond comes across many doctors who defraud the system to their own good and it becomes a battle of wills as to what to do.

The book captures readers from the first page. The characters are well developed and one has a certain amount of compassion for Desmond. As readers we cheer for the underdog and boo the villains. But who is the real villain?

What would you do in this situation? What will your emotions or values impact how you interpret this story? What would you do in this situation? In “The Wrong Road Home,” author Ian A. O’Connor has done an excellent job of asking you that throughout the story.

“Karma’s a Killer” by Tracy Weber

KARMA’S A KILLER

Tracy Weber
Midnight Ink (2016)
ISBN 9780738742106
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (07/17)

Having just binged watch a whole season of The Walking Dead, I was ready for something a bit lighter. “Karma’s a Killer” by Tracy Weber was the perfect choice. While a murder mystery might not seem like light reading material, it was easier to view it this way when the victim wasn’t so well liked. Plus there are other things going on that had me laughing.

This is the first book for me to read in Tracy Weber’s Downward Dog Series. I enjoyed this one so much, I will continue to catch up on and follow this series. I found myself relating to the main character, Kate Davidson who is a yoga teacher in Seattle. I am not a yoga teacher and I do not live in Seattle, but like Kate, I have a rescue that I adore, but have to be very careful with him being around other people, dogs, children, and in my case vehicles that have easily removable plastic parts. Like Kate, I have to alter my life to work around his special needs. Like Kate, I am always trying to think peaceful thoughts, but frequently find myself having to remind myself to try to do so when I am stressed.

Kate gets caught up in a local murder mystery after she agrees to participate at a local fundraiser for an animal shelter. She accidentally hears an argument between two women. One of them seems strangely familiar to her. After hearing their argument, she tries to have a peaceful day at the event. But there are some animal rights activists who will do anything to be heard and they use this event to push their own public and personal agendas. Things really get out of hand when Kate has to teach a Doga (dog yoga) class and a wealthy investor shows up with a bunny!

When Kate discovers that the woman who seems familiar to her is actually her birth mother, she is in a quandary about whether or not she should help her. As she is figuring things out, she learns a lot about her childhood, the woman who rejected her, and her father. Things were not quite what she had been told. This helps motivate her to get to the bottom of finding out who actually is responsible for the murder.

I really enjoyed “Karma’s a Killer” by Tracy Weber and escaping into Kate’s world. Readers, especially animal and yoga lovers will really enjoy this series. I also recommend this as a choice for woman’s reader groups because it will generate lively discussions.

“Rebellious Parenting: Daring to Break the Rules So Your Child Can Thrive” by Richard Blackaby and Carrie Blackaby

REBELLIOUS PARENTING: DARING TO BREAK THE RULES SO YOUR CHILD CAN THRIVE

Richard Blackaby & Carrie Blackaby
Elevate Faith (2017)
ISBN 9780996465571
Reviewed by Josh Cramer for Reader Views (07/17)

Have you ever felt you weren’t doing enough as a parent? Have you ever felt you were doing too much? In “Rebellious Parenting: Daring to Break the Rules So Your Child Can Thrive,” father and daughter team Richard & Carrie Blackaby ask hard questions about many aspects of parenting and then offer possible solutions. Some of these solutions may not be looked at favorably by everyone, but I think they offer an excellent conversation starter.  One of the ways they do this is by switching narrators depending on the topic. I really liked seeing the stories and perspectives of both Blackaby’s throughout. Additionally, each chapter offers actionable ideas that if you follow can help to change your parenting or at least shake it up some.

The Blackaby’s take you through a parenting roller coaster. First, though, they define what a rebel is because the purpose of this book is to act as a rebellion against the “conventional” wisdom of today’s parenting culture. Once they have the definition of terms down, then the roller coaster really begins. They begin by discussing the pitfalls of relying on popular opinion to parent, allowing your kids to be unique (because God loves diversity), and actually using the word “stupid” to describe some actions and teaching the difference between being wise and unwise (and being a role model for lifelong learning).

They don’t stop there, though. This next advice is so different than what I was taught as a kid myself—it’s okay to quit. Karate lessons. Ballet. Soccer. If your kid isn’t enjoying it after giving it a fair chance, then why continue to torture them. Also consider this: what are your priorities?  This leads to the next chapter (and I love this name): “Not now, sweetie: Mommy is having a meltdown”: Rebelling Against Self-Centered Living. The Blackaby’s recommend teaching kids from our mistakes (which teaches lots of things like compassion).

In the end, the authors write, “Parents must walk the fine line between telling their children what major they should choose in college or what career track they should take, and helping them discover those paths for themselves. The same is true about parental involvement as young people choose a life partner” (366-67).  So how involved should we be as parents? We certainly don’t want to see our children fail, but at the same time, some failure is needed to learn some lessons. So how involved should we be as parents? The Blackaby’s offer the following challenges to parents:

1.     Consider your personal motives. Make sure that what you want your kids to do is because it is best for your kids and not for you.

2.     Encourage your child to take time to enjoy their youth, to learn, and to explore. This is not “wasting” time as unproductive.  If your kid rushes into a job they are not ready for, they may burn out and feel like a failure; however, we must remind them that they are not a failure as a person. They just weren’t ready for that position yet.

3.     Trust your child to make wise choices (especially if you have raised them to have high standards). This doesn’t mean to go AWOL; it just means your role as a parent has shifted.

4.     Keep the pressure off. Don’t try to marry your child off as soon as possible. I loved Carrie’s example on this: “Mom, you may think that person and I would make a charming couple, but I find nocturnal reptiles to be more attractive.”

In addition, the authors challenge the kids to first seek God’s will, not panic, to keep working on themselves, and not to cave in, or settle for less than God’s best for them.

I’ve already started to incorporate some of the reflection and action ideas into my own parenting and I see myself rereading this book each year to glean new insight into my own stage of parenting.

That said, I would strongly recommend “Rebellious Parenting: Daring to Break the Rules So Your Child Can Thrive,” by Carrie Blackaby & Richard Blackaby to all parents (regardless of whether you identify as a Christian). There are great questions to consider and actionable parenting ideas that can begin small and grow as you become more comfortable with the ideas.  Find this book, read it, and share it with a friend. You (and your kids) won’t be disappointed.

“On Angels’ Wings” by Deborah Lynn

ON ANGELS’ WINGS

Deborah Lynn
Balboa Press (2017)
ISBN 9781504375139
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (8/17)

“On Angels’ Wings” by Deborah Lynn is a very emotional read that tells the story of caring for her mother during her Alzheimer’s disease. Having watched my mother care for my father while his memory faded, this narrative touched every emotion I have felt.

Many families are impacted by this daily, and often we have no idea where to go or how to help. Lynn was very straightforward about the lack of proper diagnosis, in home care, and facilities that are not equipped to handle Alzheimer’s patients.

Lynn provides inspiration, and resources to help caregivers who are not sure what to do. She is passionate and honest in her writing, which includes poetry and pictures to depict her feelings and the loss of the woman who was once active, intelligent, and loving.

I liked the way Lynn described how her family members were at odds about the fading of memory, care, and possible placement in a nursing home. Like her mother’s husband, my mom cared for my dad for years without getting respite care or in-home care, and I could see the anger and loss of her activities waiting to explode.

Often families are in denial about any changes in their loved one, blaming it on old age. Having had this discussion with my kids about my mother and her “plateau phone calls” and lack of activity, I finally took Lynn’s advice and called her doctor about our concerns. Like many older generation family doctors he stated, “Your mom said she is fine.”

The author’s narration on finding the right nursing homes with specific care for dementia patients had me shaking my head. Often caregivers in these facilities are not properly trained, underpaid, and not supervised. Having been an advocate for a group called “Concerned Citizens for the Elderly,” part of the task is to tour and look at the care the patients receive. The author talks about this in her numerous placements of her mother. In the past, many elderly family members didn’t have available to them, long-term care insurance which covers the cost of a facility.

“On Angels’ Wings” by Deborah Lynn is a book all families should read and keep using as a resource, support source, and guide. The poems and pictures are beautiful and very descriptive of what one feels about the loss of a parent.